February found me at the wheel of the bus we call steak night and I thought it would be fitting to give Joe’s one last chance at winning over my palate. Previous dinners have been inconsistent and not been up to the high level everyone else seems to think. Except Jevon of course. Since the famous stone crab is in season I figured now was the time.

The standard operating procedure with Joe’s is to head across the street to Eddie V’s beforehand to take in the crooning piano player’s soothing melodies in between sips of bourbon. The reason being the bar at Joe’s is one of the worst in the city. Poor service, over crowded, too much traffic down the middle heading to the dining room, and honestly just a bad atmosphere. Eddie delivered and it may be one of the best, yet least known bar scenes in a steak house.

Upon arrival at Joe’s we were seated at a nice 6 top in the back of the restaurant and immediately began the debate over expansion of the league of extraordinary gentlemen. It is my opinion we are good at our current numbers since it provides a more intimate setting to catch up with everyone. It appears there are a few solid contenders in the expansion draft nonetheless. The potential for an interview process also was discussed, of which I am in favor.

Obviously I went for the crab, 6 piece Select, among the other starters which included the steak tartare and the shrimp de jonghe. Two things happen at this point: 1. the crab was mediocre at best, the mustard sauce is top notch, but we are not paying $50 for a condiment. Case closed on Joe’s famous stone crab, its just alright. 2. our waiter Steve-O pulled his first bitch ass upsell move. I asked will there be enough steak tartare for the group, questioning the size of the portion. He said oh yeah sure. That somehow translated to him bringing us out two servings in lieu of the one I ordered. When questioned, his smarmy answer was, obviously you needed two. No that wasnt obvious Stevie boy. The shrimp de jonghe, great. The steak tartare, perfect. I do realize the irony of ordering steak tartare before ordering a massive steak but, it is steak night after all.

Classy move on Joe’s part, the lemon and hot towel hand cleaning post apps, nicely done.

I decided to go for broke and went with the bone in ribeye. A first for me. This was absolutely perfect. The sear on the outside was a salty crust with a warm red center. The entire cut was done right and gone in no time. Sides were the Jennie’s potatoes which I think Jennie learned to cook from watching TV in the 60’s. The creamed spinach was good, not great. The sprouts delivered in my opinion.

Throughout dinner the majority of the conversation focused on membership and the potential expansion. There was a brief discourse clarifying the rules on posting. It is ratified that the host has 1 week from the date of dinner to post. All diners have 2 weeks from the date of the dinner to post. Should the host fail to post, he buys drinks the following month and the diners are off the hook. However proper etiquette is to still post.

Key lime pie and peanut butter pie topped off the evening, both were quite good in my opinion. Peanut butter pie too the cake, pardon the bad joke. It still was no carrot cake, but we cant all be sophisticated enough to see the merit in carrot cake.

The final blow from young Stephen, who had a mysteriously high pitched voice, was to hand us the bill. It was astronomical. The two bottles of Adelsheim were $65.00 a piece, low by most standards, yet quite tasty, and the cab for during steaks was $80.00. In this case what ran up the tally was that bearded sonuvabitch Stevan. Apparently when he asked if you wanted the wet aged or dry aged he was fishing for an extra $25.00. When I ordered, he said non nonchalantly, do you want the wet or dry aged, everyone is ordering the dry aged. Oh really Steph, everyone is getting the dry aged? Well then I should have that too. Did you mention it costs a toe? No you didn’t. I will haunt your nightmares buddy boy.

We headed off into the night a little lighter in the wallet but a solid evening otherwise. Screw the crab, go to Joe’s for the steak but ask before they date rape. We found ourselves at the Red Head Piano Bar. This place sucks. From there to meet the women at Pops for Champagne. No one with a set of cojones likes drinking champagne when its not new years, so i hit the road home and booked this as well done.

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